by Letty McHugh
Would you describe your experience as dizziness, light-headedness, or vertigo?
My brain has broken and now I’m constantly aware
I am a stationary body
on a spinning planet
in a spinning galaxy
in a spinning universe.
I would describe it as
that bit on a roller coaster when you
pass the peak of the hill and your body
drops
but your stomach stays up
I would describe it as
a perfect summer afternoon in the early 2000s.
I’ve just rolled down the biggest hill in Cliffe Castle Park.
Only not the rolling: the bit immediately after
when I try to take a step and instead tumble sideways into the soft grass
with the sky hula hooping above me.
Only it’s not the joy and innocence—
it’s the most ill you’ve felt in your life.
Letty McHugh is an artist and writer based in West Yorkshire, she is currently researching what healing practices in medieval monasteries can teach her about living with chronic illness today. In 2023 her self-published artists book Book of Hours, a collection of poetry and lyric essays won the Barbellion Prize for Literature and was featured on BBC Radio Fours Front Row.
Her installation Anchorage, a reimagining of a medieval hermitage for the modern-day sick artist was shown at Attenborough Arts Centre, Leicester in her first solo show.
January House Literary Journal 
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